What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
