I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
did you just send me my own nude
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize