My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
