im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
