Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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