Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
