Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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