Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm bleeding and have questions
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
