well I can't set my house on fire every night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He has the fingertips of a God
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
