he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
