puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize