Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
