they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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