New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
