How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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