I feel great
I just peed on a car
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
