Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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