Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
