we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize