can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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