he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
