what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
