is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
