his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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