found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
