I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize