come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
