All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
soo... how was my night?
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