I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
