Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
