There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
