So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
