I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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