do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
