I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
