So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
