I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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