but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
