So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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