Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
