sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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