dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
