I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
