well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
