My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
