I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
