he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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