did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He did a backflip because drugs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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