so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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