hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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