youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
