I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
