he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
