Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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