I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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