what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
