We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
