He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
