accomplished twins. life is a go
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
