Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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