this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
