remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
