Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
