i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
