What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
