Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
