AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize