So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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