i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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