When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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