would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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