In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
