i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Four minutes until I can fart!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just pee around me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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