Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we should paint friendship bongs
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