can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
