You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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