Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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