life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
