My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
