The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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