i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
