I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
