she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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