Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
