whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
