Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need a beard to bite.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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