Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
