kristin has been a bad kristin
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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