sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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