Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i now understand why vodka
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize