She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
