READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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