i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
