he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's always time for handjobs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
